He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
