FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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