is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My nipple is on Facebook.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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