Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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