my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
