alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
