yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
tell your sister to shave her snatch
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
