I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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