she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
