So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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