walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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