Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
