So drunk its hurt
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
