Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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