dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
