apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
