Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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