I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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