Buhtt sex?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
