you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
