Screwed.edu
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
two words...techno handjob
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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