butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My ass is underappreciated
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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