That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
