I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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