My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
