I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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