She announced her abortion via fbk
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
