Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
