End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
