I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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