Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I understand Curling. That high.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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