Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
