When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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