I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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