so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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