I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
