my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
