I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
