so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
