at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
