I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
