I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So vagazzling was a success
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
