Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i think my cat just said my name.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
