3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
