Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
