and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
