Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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