yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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