I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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