I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
